Overcoming Traumatic Experiences

Toronto Psychologist Dr. Mishy Elmpak, C. Psych.

If you are like many people then there must have been some form of trauma at some point in your life. Now don`t get me wrong, trauma as I use it, is not necessarily an event that is so terrible and awful, that it can never be overcome, and has to stick to you for the rest of your life. But a traumatic experience, if not resolved and overcome, can show up again and again in various forms throughout one`s life. That negative experience that once or many times happened, perhaps even many, many years ago, can still follow and haunt one`s life, and show up in the most undesirable manners.

It can suddenly show up in form of strong emotions, when you are reaching for important goals and for success, such as trying to grow your business, entering into that special relationship, shedding those many unwanted pounds, giving an important public presentation, or making that final decision for that important transition in your life.

But somehow, somewhere, you are not moving in the direction of your desire, your aspirations or those goals which you have set for yourself. Those emotions, those fears, panic and worry are coming up, and you feel stuck, unable to move, decide, or use your skills and knowledge, unable to problem-solve, and get yourself into the right lane of action. You seem to tread water over and over again, in that same spot, and not go anywhere close to where you would like to be. You still seem to somehow experience the same sights, sounds, smells and feelings that you once had, and those old feelings of self and identity come up, almost automatic and by themselves and no matter how hard you try to escape or get out of it, it just does not cut it.

It seems almost as if that old trauma is downloaded in your subconscious, and can be triggered again and again. Small experiences of the past when you felt humiliated, shamed, insignificant or even rejected, surface from nowhere, as if there are no triggers, and have never been present. You experience again those moments, as if your feelings do not matter, do not count and you are unlovable, and unwanted. You still go into hiding, do not ask for anything anymore, do not show others anymore who you really are, and what you really feel and think. And now, every time you want to be more intimate, or more disclosing about yourself, or reach for more success, or something more extraordinary in your life, you feel those same blocking emotions come up. It is almost as if you are stuck in that child, that age, that person that you once were, and things have not moved away from the time of that original event.

Or worse yet, may be you have not even noticed a trigger, you feel this does not apply to you, and the fact that you can`t succeed in your business, overcome your overeating, your gambling, your promiscuity, your procrastination etc. has nothing to do with your past life and/or your experiences. It just has to be forced, and done, and all will be well. Well, the point is exactly, that this sort of thinking has not worked in the past, and will not work in future either.

Today, you are simply not accessing all the potential that you have, the potential of your

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